May 15, 2011

Well, it has been awhile since I last updated my blog. I have been dealing with so much - not to mention the continuing pain and health issues.

I went to see my Internist recently and we discussed my fatigue problems. I told her that I had fallen asleep as I sat at a red light back in October 2010. We were moving at the time. My friend kept me on the phone until I got home to the apartment. I was SO thankful I made it home safely. It would devastate me if I hurt another human being because of my stupidity.

My doctor told me I was a candidate for sleep apnea surgery because I have tried everything else including CPAP. She threw out one more thing to try. It's called Provigil. This drug is for people who deal with sleep apnea, narcolepsy and is suppose to keep you awake and alert. I am down to my last pill and I must say, it does not always help me. I have been known to fall asleep after taking the pill. I have not told my doctor this yet but I will in time. I plan to get presciption refilled today.

I have been trying to get to bed at same time every night and watch what I put in my mouth. No chocolate!! There are some mornings I feel so good - so refreshed. Yet, other days I am falling asleep still. It's frustrating and I end up crying. I am angry. So darn angry at all this crap that has taken over my life.

People do not understand because they see me with my hair done-makeup on and dressed. Now, dressed means yoga pants/sweats and a decent t-shirt. How can Kathy be ill? How can she have all these problems? All these health issues? Damn it, I wish I knew and so do the doctors. All I hear is, I am a "complex patient" Much of it is genetics they say. My parents had lots of health issues. Our father and his siblings all had diabetes. Our mother, and all her siblings had cardiovascular problems. Mom had leg and feet problems as do I.

I feel I took pretty good care of myself. I was into running and working out in the 80's. I eat my veggies but I do have a sweet tooth. Yes, I admit I love my chocolate and will never give it up.

When our parents died in 1997, I basically fell apart. Not sayin my siblings didn't but for me, it was a terrible time and I do not think I ever recovered. It affected me in a different way by attacking my body. Boy did it attack. I ended up being diagnosed with the Fibromyalgia, CFS, Diabetes (Type 2), hypothyroidism, Venous Insufficiency (legs), Peripheral Neuropathy, carpal tunnel (both wrists), degenerative disc disease, sleep apnea and of all things, an eye disease called Fuchs Corneal Dystrophy. Is it any wonder why I am frustrated and angry?

I did get involved in Invisible Disabilities Association http://www.invisibledisabilities.org on line. This is a wonderful organization founded by Wayne Connell whose wife has MS and Lyme Disease. I have met so many wonderful people. Wayne and Sherri do wonderful things by educating the public regarding diseases that are invisible. They make all this happen by taking donations so if you read my blog, please visit their website and make a donation if you can. No pressure please but it would be SO appreciative.